As creepy as it might sound, I’ve actually always known what I’d like to happen to me when I die. A coffin and grave really has never sounded appealing to me, and for me it seems more tragic than what I had envisioned. I would like to be cremated and have my ashes spread at the beach where I have spent most of my life.
I don’t exactly have words to describe my devotion and love towards the ocean, but can explain certain aspects of why I love it so dearly.
My Nana has lived near a small bay in the Saanich Inlet since the early 1900s and the entire family has grown up there. It is the center of our family and always will be. When I was a baby I would bob around in a red swimsuit/innertube contraption for entire afternoons. I do remember being frustrated at not being able to go underwater and explore this new world I had discovered, but of course the sole purpose of the suit was to keep me from doing any such thing so attempts became meaningless. Then came boogie boards, which were my rock collecting devices. It is shocking there are even rocks still left on the beach after the many hours of scouring I did. They never looked nearly as pretty or shiny once they were dry, but I was content to mull about for hours in the shallows picking my favourites.
My absolute favourite thing about the ocean though, is lying in the starfish position. Whether it’s twilight and the stars are just appearing or it’s the middle of the day and my little cousins are shouting at the dogs on the shore, when I tilt my head back and float, it’s as though everything ceases to exist. There is no sound, all you see is sky and you are weightless. Nothing I’ve come across in the world so far has ever compared to this feeling, and so the ocean is my sanctuary; where I go when I’m happy, upset or homesick.
On to actual things I’d want to come with me (wherever that may be)…My little red innertube would be one because of all that it represents. Books have always been (as I’m sure with most people) a sort of haven for me, and as juvenile as it sounds, my Harry Potter books are what I would want with me. Beginning in grade two when I first picked one up, I can honestly say that story has been the most constant thing in my life, only next to my family. There are a few pieces of jewellery I’ve collected on my travels that I would want to wear, including: a thin cord bracelet bought in Villefranche and a braided leather bracelet from Rome (possibly my favourite city). I would also need something to represent dance. Experiences I’ve had in dance, travelling, meeting people and creating incredible friendships have quite literally shaped me. However I honestly can’t think of one single thing to encapsulate all that.
My personal belief is that it gives more closure if someone is laid to rest this way, perhaps because I’m so unfortunately sentimental, but if I am ash in the water people won’t have to walk past my grave. I won’t be tied to a fixed point where people have to visit. I also like the idea of travelling even after my death. I would be constantly moving and wherever I may end up, I will forever remain in my sanctuary.
